


Didn’t you know? He reads Wilde

by orphan_account



Category: Letterkenny (TV)
Genre: (in terms of Stewart’s massive dick), Bottom Wayne, Canon Compliant, Chapters won’t have any relation to each other, I’ll add tags as I write more, M/M, PWP, crack ship, improper first time bottoming etiquette, just want to write gay Letterkenny shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-02 13:34:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19199887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: There’s no shortage of ridiculous men in Letterkenny and that is for damn sure





	Didn’t you know? He reads Wilde

**Author's Note:**

> This is terrible and barely even in character and not meant to be taken very seriously that is all. I hope I never meet Keeso because I won’t be able to look him in the eyes. Next chapter will probably be a Daxi + Ronsy + Jonesy + Reilly mess. Anyways no proofreading we write porn at 2:30 am like men. Also I somewhat tried to keep the same comedy feeling and speech patterns of Letterkenny but I probably didn’t do too good of a job so oh well

You were mighty curious about the possibility of someone having a 1 liter thermos between their legs the other day.

————————————————————————

Stewart’s eyes absolutely bugged out of his head, and he made a very Roald-esque whine towards the back of his throat as he choked out, 

“You want to see my what?” 

Wayne’s eyes squinted ever impossibly more, and his jaw jutted forewords as he uncrossed his arms. Taking a deep breath he pointed one finger straight between Stewart’s legs. 

“Your horn Stewart. Your dick, cock. The 1980’s Policeman’s flashlight you might or might not be packing down there, fuck”. 

Stewart flinched at the deadpan way the other man ventured this request. He sharply twitched his head towards his narrow shoulders, characteristically screwing up his face in a sneer. 

“Okay shirt tucker, why do you want to see my...?” Stewart nodded emphatically, “I can only assume it’s because you’re gay now or something? Just go see Roald, the kid is antsy enough for just about anything, Wayne”. 

Wayne crossed his arms again, and swallowed dryly. He made a small tsk sound. Then opened and closed his mouth for a seemingly infinite amount of time, but realistically for around 15 seconds. 

“‘Kay. Well- yeah, ‘Kay. Just- Hm. ‘Kay. Well I suppose- I suppose that when I saw your horn that one time it was just the angle or the light. There’s no way in hell that your knob is actually that monstrous. I just refuse to believe that on principle alone. But being a man of inquiry I decided that the only accurate way to make a decision, and the thing that I’m exposed to do, is to just see it with these here two eyes, in plain sight,” he finished, and nodded decisively, and waited for Stewart to speak. 

“So in summation. Conclusion. You want to see my...because you don’t believe that I could be packing a-“

“Tube sock with 6 pool balls. Yes”,

“Right. So you want to see it. Because there’s no way that someone like me could have a large-“

“Horn. Can confirm. Glad to see you’re catching up,” Wayne smiled his tight lipped smile and promptly took a swig from the latest Puppers he was working on. 

Stewart exhaled loudly and blinked rapidly a few times. He shot up out of his chair and stared furiously down at Wayne. His chest heaved as he stared, and his hands were working themselves in and out of fists at his sides. 

“That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard in a long time, hick,” screeched Stewart, as his face flushed red, “To simply equate my possible penis size with your own biased opinion on who I am and what subcultures I subscribe to is just- it’s just- farcical! It’s ludicrous! AND preposterous! And I for one will not stand for it. I will leaving now. Good day”. 

Just as Stewart huffily turned himself towards the door, Wayne shot out towards the thinner mans back,

“‘Kay bud, but I’m going to have to assume that you’re packing a solid 3 inches there then. That’s sound logic”. 

Stewart’s body froze in his tracks, and he turned robotically towards Wayne. Squaring his shoulders he walked deliberately towards the squinting man, before he paused right in front of the dining room chair he was sat on. His hands crept towards the front of his pants and he rested them on the button of his tight, black jeans. He paused, gritted his teeth and started coldly into Wayne’s eyes. 

Wayne tilted his head to the right for a brief second, meeting Stewart’s eyes with a stare of his own.

“Pitter patter then”. 

And Stewart did just that, quickly unbuttoning the jeans and unzipping, pushing his pants and briefs down. And there it was. 

“Okay Stewart. Stewart, okay. Okay Stewart. I stand corrected”, Wayne held his hands up, palms out, in an apologetic way, and then took another quick sip of the Puppers. 

“Yeah. That’ll show you not to assume, hick,” he hissed, as he held his arms out wide. 

Wayne screwed up his face, and his expression became even more inscrutable than it usually already was. 

“What does it look like hard?” The good ol’ boy asked, like it was as casual and natural as asking what the weather was like that day. 

And if that didn’t knock the wind out of Stewart’s lungs than he didn’t know what would. He choked for a brief second before flinging his arms down to hide his crotch. He didn’t say anything, just held his dick in his hands and stared over Wayne’s head. 

“Well it’s only for accuracy that I ask, fucks sake. There’s two kinds of people. There’s your growers, and your showers, this is just common knowledge. And if you’re a shower, you’re still very well endowed so good’n you. But if you’re a grower on top of already being way above average as per the Canadian average penis length of 5.6 inches, than color me impressed big shoots”. 

Stewart sputtered, and twisted his body so that his semi exposed penis was facing away from Wayne’s direct line of sight. 

“I can’t just GET hard. And you’ve seen it, why do I have to prove that it can get any bigger?” 

“I never said you had to. I asked a question. You’re the one deciding whether or not to answer or go through with the action. Fuck. I can’t force you to do anything,” Wayne stood up and held himself stiffly, as per his usual. 

They held each other’s gaze for a moment, before both sitting down with the muted sound of chair moving across hardwood floor. 

“I don’t know if I can...get- This is an incredibly strange situation, hick and I’d think you’d be a bit more empathetic to it”. 

“I fully understand and I apologize for my curiosity,” he paused momentarily, “But you do seem like you’re intending to go through with this so I’m not too sorry”. 

 

Stewart simply nodded and tensely moved his hands from his crotch, and elected to grip the sides of the chair he was seated at instead. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply through his nose. Wayne watched his face, then slowly his vision slid downwards. He briefly considered the absurdity of the situation, and how he was the one who thrust them both squarely into it. But not wanting to give himself a headache, he ultimately chose to push the thought out of his mind until he could focus on it later. He took in the elephant between Stewart’s legs. It had been known throughout Letterkenny that Stewart could POSSIBLY have a 12 ounce cut of pork just hanging there, but no one had ever confirmed. And there it was, pale and trimmed and weirdly un-skid looking. Wayne had assumed it was going to be... Well. Uglier looking. But if a penis could be pretty, then Stewart had a pretty horn he supposed. 

Stewart kept breathing deeply, and every couple of seconds one of his hands would clench and unclench the sides of the chair, like he was so deeply engrossed in thought that he couldn’t control it. The moment dragged on for a small infinity, but Stewart stayed soft. Wayne felt himself become slightly disappointed, and wondered what that meant. Then suddenly the skid’s eyes flew open and he audibly sighed. 

“I don’t think it’s going to happen shirt tucker. This is just too weird. I don’t think I’m going to just start jerking off either,” He said, as he nervously shifted in his seat, cock settling against whatever leg he had the most weight on. 

“Well. Ain’t nothing to it but to do it I suppose,” the blonde said.

Wayne moved his vision back up to Stewart’s face. In one quick motion, without so much as a preemptive thought, he unbuttoned the cuffs of his long sleeved flannel, and slid down further into his chair, spreading his legs out just slightly. Stewart tensed up, clenching his body on himself. He had only ever seen Wayne uncuff his sleeves in preparation for a scrap. But Wayne simply leaned his head back over the top of his chair, and brought a hand up trace over his Adam’s apple and the hollow of his throat. 

“What- what are you doing?” 

“I’m helping you,” he explained, then he brought his hand down to unbutton the top button of his shirt, then slowly ran his finger over the prominent line of his collarbone. 

“Helping?” Stewart looked away from him, then brought his eyes back to follow the movement of his hand. 

“Now I’m not operating off the assumption that I’m universally attractive, so don’t be so inclined as to think that’s my motif. But seeing anyone acting...well fuck. Acting in a promiscuous manner is a good way to get one’s self in the mood. What I’m trying to say is that maybe if I make a show of myself you’ll be able to think... toe-curling thoughts,” 

Stewart shook his head violently for a moment, as if to rattle the thoughts in his mind. Very quietly he murmured,

“Pitter patter?” 

Wayne nodded stiffly, and leaned his head back, bringing his other hand back up to run through his short hair. He slowly lowered his hands to his second button, undoing it, and then the third and fourth, leaving a good portion of his upper chest exposed. He pulled the shirt open, and then slid one of his hands down over his chest, and abs, to rest on the inner side of his jean clad thigh. He didn’t think, just acted. Briefly he considered how in the hell he could get out of this if someone, namely Katy or Dary or Squirrely Dan were to have walked into the house in that moment and saw him seated directly across from Stewart who had his horn out, rubbing his paws all over himself with his shirt open. He also wondered how much of this was simply about curiosity anymore. Stewart was big. That much was already known. He closed his eyes and pushed the thoughts out of his mind, for the bazillionth time that night. 

Wayne opened his eyes, and made the mistake of lifting his head up to look at Stewart. His face was pink, and his mouth hung just ever so slightly open. He stared at Wayne, then inhaled hard and lowered his gaze to Wayne’s thigh, where his hand was, softly rubbing the muscle there. Wayne couldn’t escape the heat the rushed through his body, he could feel Stewart’s eyes on him like a physical touch. Wayne glanced down, and noticed that while Stewart was still mostly soft, there was a definite start of an absolutely respectable hard on there. 

The be-flanneled man shivered only the smallest bit, he reasoned with himself, and completely untucked his shirt, undoing every button and letting the shirt frame his abdomen. Stewart’s eyes traveled from his chest down to his work boots, his tongue leaving his mouth partly to softly wet his pink lips. Wayne decided to waste no more time and unzipped and unbuttoned his sensible, fitted work jeans. He lifted his hips off of the chair that he sat on and deftly worked the denim down off of his thighs, leaving the black and clinging boxer briefs on. Wayne, to his surprise, found that he was sporting a medium semi, and there was the smallest wet patch, from. Well. Yeah. 

Mentally, he just shrugged it off, and ran both of his hands over his chest and down to the waistband of his underwear, pulling and snapping it once or twice then squeezing his thigh. Stewart cleared his throat and he startled, completely froze in his movement.

“I think,” Stewart began, and swallowed thickly. 

Wayne watched the muscles in his throat work.

“I think it’s only fair that you show me yours. I showed you mine, graciously, I might add”. 

“Fucks sake are we third graders or something?”

Stewart only continued to stare at Wayne like he was looking through him, looking less pale and more flushed than Wayne had seen him in recent years. 

“‘Kay”. 

And that was that, Wayne looked up towards the ceiling and grasped the soft material of his boxers, pulling them down and flinching at the small thwack that his cock made hitting his stomach. He still wasn’t fully hard, but shit if he wasn’t right along the way there. He slid his hand down, right by but not quite touching. In a second, he mentally fucked it, this had already gone way past the point it ever should have, and he grasped his cock. He couldn’t stop the small stuttered breath he let out in appreciation of the contact. And if he heard Stewart stop breathing for a second, it’s not like he had to let him know that he was aware. He stole a glance at Stewart, and saw that he was in pertineer the same boat as himself. Wayne tried not to think about how Stewart had so much weight that his dick didn’t stand straight up, even though it was a minute away from a full erection, and instead laid there heavily against the mans leg. 

Wayne slowly twisted his wrist, kept his movements small and subtle. He also tried not to think about how he was now definitely sporting a full hard on, complete with pre starting to wet the top of his hand in front of Letterkenny’s resident ego maniac DJ/skid drug dealer. Pitter patter, he thought, and brushed a thumb over his nipple, not so much enjoying the actual physical sensation as much as the act itself. 

He took another look at Stewart, and saw that he had his eyes squeezed shut, and was white knuckling the sides of the chair. His cock was flushed, and precum beaded the tip. Wayne didn’t know how to feel anything else than heat, and a worrying amount of vague feelings of want and need that sort of floated up from his stomach and chest. Resignedly, he was very impressed. A horn that size spelt trouble for all those who would get the chance to play it. He heard himself say something without really giving anything much thought. He didn’t know if he could ever think again. 

“Couch,” he deadpanned. 

Stewart’s eyes flashed open, and for probably the first time Wayne noticed how soul suckingly blue they were. Stewart’s eyebrows furrowed, and he bit down on his bottom lip with his sharp incisor in question, something that Wayne briefly focused on before dead panning again. 

“Couch. Now”. 

Stewart shot up from the chair and it was like Wayne blinked and he was on the couch. He frantically untied his boots and started to throw them across the room before he caught Wayne’s eye and nicely placed them in a pair on the side of the carpet. Wayne steadied himself quietly before standing and waddling over to the couch with his pants around his thighs and taking a seat besides the smaller man. Deftly he leaned over and took his boots and socks off, placing them in nice pairs and setting them off to the side. In two smooth motions he slid his pants and underwear off the rest of the way and flipped his entire body over to straddle Stewart’s narrow hips. The feeling of Stewart’s jeans against his bare ass and legs was a strange sensation but not an altogether unliked one. Stewart’s hands floated out at his sides and wordlessly Wayne grabbed them and put them around his waist. Wayne pondered for a moment, then grabbed ahold of the mop of black hair that Stewart was known for. 

“Take off this fucking wig,” And he promptly but gently tugged the offending thing off and threw it across the living room to land unceremoniously at the legs of the coffee table. 

Stewart sputtered but didn’t move. Wayne took his hand and mussed up the shorter, brown hair that had been flattened out by the wig. 

“Looks better this way”. 

And then Wayne kissed him. And Stewart kissed him back, hard. And Wayne couldn’t help but notice that his mouth tastes fresher than he would have thought, and that Stewart waited for Wayne to begin to use tongue instead of trying to just dive in right away. Wayne could feel Stewart’s cock against his inner thigh with how he was sitting, he could feel how warm it was, and he could feel the slickness that was being transferred to the soft hairs of his leg. Wayne could also feel the tip of his cock jostle against the shirt that Stewart wore each time they pressed closer to shove their tongues down their throats. Stewart made no effort to move his hands and grope around Wayne’s body, so taking it upon himself he grabbed his hands again and began to move them around himself, over his chest and back and thighs, and then Stewart got the picture and started to explore on his own. 

Wayne kept his hands mostly near Stewart’s head, holding his jaw or grasping at the short locks or planting his hands at the base of his neck. Realizing that Stewart was still wearing a shirt when he went to palm the plane of his stomach Wayne broke away reluctantly and tugged the shirt over the thinner man’s head without so much as a word. After kissing for a couple more moments Wayne leaned back into Stewart’s lap, simply surveying the skid, eyes sweeping up and down, hands roaming over the pale expanse of his chest and shoulders. Prodding, but gentle. He squinted, and grabbed the others hand, making it caress the entire length of his chest and stomach to rest at the very base of his cock. Understanding silently, Stewart took him in hand and started stroking up and down slowly, pleasant but teasing and not nearly enough. 

Wayne closed his eyes and tilted his head back and let out a long sigh, feeling Stewart crowd closer to press an open mouthed kiss against his throat. This was bizarre, beyond strange, and bonkers. But Stewart’s hand felt hot and his lips were already starting to become red and puffy so Wayne might as well see this through. And then Stewart sped up a bit, twisting his hand over the tip in just a way that made Wayne feel like his stomach was dropping out of his body and there were hot coils of electricity underneath his skin and he audibly groaned low in his chest and they both froze solid. 

Stewart pulled back his hand like it was on fire and held them up by his face as if he was surrendering. 

“I’m so sorry this is fucked up if you want to beat me up I-“ 

“Stewart!” Wayne barked.

“Yeah?” squeaked the skid, not making eye contact. 

Wayne crowded the man in closer, bringing their bare chests together, his dick hotly pressed between their bodies, unmistakably masculine, unmistakably aroused. He reached between them, and found Stewart to still be incredibly hard. He grabbed it, and his eyes nearly fluttered shut in lightheadedness at how warm and velvety the skin felt in his hand, how he could just barely reach all the way around it. Stewart’s breath hitched, and his hips shot forward. The skid got the message loud and clear, and he gripped Wayne and began stroking again almost as if to say 10-4. Wayne began to move his hand in tandem with Stewart, and fuck if Stewart wasn’t responsive. 

Stewart started to roam his other hand over Wayne’s feverish body again, and as he slid down his muscled back he hesitated over the curve of Wayne’s ass, like Wayne might hit him or something if he tried to touch him there. But the moment of hesitation ended, and Stewart grabbed a handful and squeezed and Wayne surprised himself by groaning out loud, and rather loudly. Stewart smiled to himself like he was being sneaky and Wayne did not care for that shit at all no sir but Stewart began to massage and caress his ass and he couldn’t bring himself to tell him to knock the shit eating grin off of his face and instead just relaxed into the sensations that were all assaulting him at once. 

The feeling of Stewart’s hand on his ass, the hand on his cock that was surprisingly adept at giving a handjob, the lips on his neck and shoulders and lips and chest, and finally the feeling of Stewart’s dick in his hand, now slick and sliding and hot and weirdly, disturbingly perfect in that moment. Wayne kept staring at the differences between their two respective tools. Wayne was nothing to scoff at, and he was very satisfied with what he had to work with. But looking at the two in action, it was like holding up a decent sized bratwurst sausage to a Pringle’s can. He knows that he should have been embarrassed or upset but mostly the thought made the back of his neck heat up and he’s thinking all these things and something Squirrely Dan said kept cycling through his head about prostates and whatnot and he decided to make a risky decision. 

He pulled himself away from Stewart and stood up quickly, dick bobbing almost comically. 

“I’ll be back in around 10 to 15 minutes,” he said, and kissed the top of Stewart’s head curtly and neither of the men try to think about how affectionate the action could have been interpreted as. 

Bounding up the stairs he is gone in a moment and then Stewart waited. He didn’t have any possible clue what might have been going on and his erection was even starting to flag from pure nerves alone when around 10 to 15 minutes later Wayne came back downstairs with something small in his hands and sat himself back down in Stewart’s lap, pausing for a moment beforehand to pull the mans pants further down his legs. He closed himself into Stewart and began to kiss him again, sensually circling his hips so that his cock rubbed against the soft skin of Stewart’s stomach. After a few dizzying moments of this the small object in his hand became apparent when Stewart heard a small cap pop open and then felt lotion or something equal drip onto his dick. Wayne’s hand was also felt smearing it, and when he was satisfied he wiped the excess off on Stewart’s pants. Much to Stewart’s exasperation. Stewart, throughly confused at that point was just about to question the country mans intent when Wayne gripped the base of Stewart’s dick and lifted himself over the top of it, and then lowered himself slowly down until Stewart could feel something like a cleft against the tip of his dick, which could only be one of one thing. And Stewart absolutely choked, and his hands flew out to grab at Wayne’s body, gripping his side and his thigh. 

“Figger it out,” is all Wayne said, face blank.

Shocked into silence for a moment Stewart just stared hard between Wayne’s legs where he was poised to breach him at any moment. Wayne took a shuddering breath and kept his momentum moving down, the press of his body against Stewart’s dick making Stewart feel like he was going to pass out. And then with a barely perceptible wince on Wayne’s part Stewart is sliding inside of Wayne, hot, and tight, and it all made Stewart’s stomach tense up so hard it hurts. Wayne squinted and kept moving until he stopped fully seated in Stewart’s laps, letting out a barely audible,

“Fuck”. 

Stewart’s eyes close and his hips flex on their own accord and then a strong hand is planted heavily on his chest.

“Don’t you fucking move,” Wayne grunted out, sweat lightly clumping together the blondes hair. 

Stewart’s eyes shoot open and he frantically grabbed at Wayne, accidentally jostling his body in the process, to which Wayne painfully hissed. 

“This isn’t your first time doing this, right?” 

Wayne simply stared hard, jaw set and teeth clenched together determinedly. 

“Oh my god. Wayne you can’t do that. Jesus Christ,” whisper shouted Stewart, in an effort to move as little as possible. 

“A quick couple google searches and a short YouTube tutorial got me here and I’m fine. I’ve had... some experience with things up there because I’m pretty secure in myself and I explored in the privacy of my own bedroom when I was a teenager so if you can just give me a moment to relax, please. Now I checked to see if I was clean and I “prepped” myself as they say to the best of my ability in that 10 to 15 minutes so if you could just let me keep doing what I’m doing that would be fantastic bud,” Wayne huffed as he closed his eyes and took a couple deep breaths. 

Stewart threw back his head against the couch and groaned in frustration. 

“Fingering yourself as a 17 year old is really different to taking... You know. Just TAKING!” 

“Shut the fuck up, Stewart”. 

“Wayne not that I would humiliate myself by caring about you but I don’t want to be the reason you’re in a hospital for anal tear-“ 

And then Wayne lifted himself up just enough that Stewart could feel it, and brought himself back down again, a small moan at the very back of his throat, hardly legible. And Stewart’s mind momentarily went completely blank, zeroed in on Wayne’s ass and heat and pressure. 

“... fuck up, Stewart”. 

He heard distantly, as Wayne’s face went slack and lost some of that that characteristic hardness as he lifted himself up again, that time choosing to circle his hips, grinding down very, very slowly on Stewart’s dick. Stewart could feel Wayne’s hands as they pressed roughly against his shoulders, anchoring himself. He wondered if he got Wayne in a certain position if he could see the press of his dick through Wayne’s stomach and he swallowed and shook the thought out of his mind. 

“If you’re thinking some weird shit, stop that”. 

Stewart just nodded, and brought his hands around to run over Wayne’s thighs, that were straining with the effort of holding himself up. Slowly, Wayne started to move his hips just slightly faster than the moments before, building up to a stomach clenching speed that made Stewart and Wayne alike feel like they would die before they would cum, but enjoying the drawing out nonetheless. 

Wayne felt like he was being punched from the inside out, in a good way. In a white hot, worryingly erotic, world shattering, good way. Every time he moved he could feel himself clench over something slick, and hot, and solid, and huge, inside of himself and fuck if that didn’t make him feel like there was a roaring campfire inside of his body melting all his insides into something molten. About 5 minutes into Wayne’s Record Breaking Rodeo Ride he realized that he hadn’t even touched his cock once yet he was very steadily leaking precum all over himself, sliding all the way down his dick and dripping onto Stewart’s stomach. He moaned, quietly, and grabs the back of Stewart’s head to kiss him messily. Stewart’s hands roamed all over his body, slid down his sweaty back and grasped at his ass, spreading him apart like he wasn’t already splitting him in half, and tugging at his short hair. 

Nothing Wayne had done by himself had ever felt like that, like he’s fucking someone or getting a blowjob or anything at all but it’s inside his body and the temperature of it is racketing up to approximately three thousand bazillion degrees. And that’s the only way he’d ever be able to describe it, like someone opened him up and poured lava into his ass and balls and dick and legs and stomach and lower body except it didn’t burn him or set him on fire instead it’s like the lava kissed all those spots and fuck. 

He lowered his head onto Stewart’s shoulder and panted into his neck, slowing down to an almost stop. He closed his eyes and sighed out, 

“My legs are tired and I have choring to do tomorrow, you want to do something now since I’ve been doing all the work?” 

Stewart stayed quiet for a moment before hefting Wayne up and over with a surprising amount of strength and laying him against the arm rest of the couch, legs spread out and arms flying up to grip the sides. And FUCK if that didn’t make Wayne feel like some sort of debauched sally but he just stared up hard at Stewart, a challenge. Stewart leaned down to kiss the tip of his nose and once again the actions became too familiar, too affectionate, and Wayne’s stomach turned but he couldn’t dwell on it long because Stewart drew back and snapped his hips foreword and completely gutter punched a long keen out of him. Wayne felt loose and hot and rag dolled, like every muscle in his body was going to disintegrate. His eyelashes fluttered as his eyes rolled back into his head every minute or so, mouth hanging slightly open, quiet curses spilling out on harder or deeper thrusts. 

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck fuck fuck,” he bit out, and he felt embarrassed as to how much he sounded like some kind of girly pornstar. 

Feeling just slightly too good to dwell on it however, he continued to let the sounds just fly out of him. And then something was stretching taunter and taunter inside his body and he was on the very edge and starting to swim inside his own body, everything sounding very far away and his eyes were rolling so much he’s sure that he looked possessed and Stewart grabbed his dick and began to stroke it as he fucked into him and then it happened. And his legs were shaking as he came hard over his own stomach, and even shot himself across the chin and nose. His whole body collapsed and he could hear Stewart’s voice crack when he said,

“God. Fuck”. 

And the Stewart was fucking into him faster, starting to halt and stutter with his hips, losing rhythm. And it was all nearing the edge of too much and wishing he could have more when he felt Stewart’s dick stop inside of him, pulsing, and Stewart pressed his head hard against Wayne’s inner thigh and moans, before taking some ragged breaths and backing away from Wayne, slipping out of inside him. Wayne grimaces at the feeling and accidentally clenches the air, some cum sliding out of him before Stewart noticed and quickly slides two fingers inside of him to alleviate the hollowness that accompanied Wayne’s backside. 

“That might be the weirdest thing that has happened thus so far bud,” Wayne closed his eyes and slowly brought his arms down from over his head, stretching and rolling his shoulders, “You better not get nail polish inside of me”.

“Would you rather have your asshole just be loose?” he snapped, and he wiggled his fingers for emphasis, but all it accomplished was making Wayne’s dick flex feebly. 

They both looked at each other momentarily. 

“I think it’s best that we agree to never mention this to each other or anyone else”.

“Good enough”. 

And that was that.

And if Katy, Dary, or Squirrely Dan noticed a strange gait that Wayne had adopted during choring that next day, well all of them were polite and respectable enough to not say anything about it.


End file.
